Love Languages: When I Speak Mine Differently

Love language… it is such a common topic among couples. In fact, wives (mostly) compare their love language and share how they have redamancy (or unrequited) with their love language(s). Let me back track (in case you don’t know this love language that im talking about), this is popularized by Gary Chapman (who wrote the book of the same title)… According to him, there are Five Languages of Love… (these are word of affirmation, touch, gift, service, and time. You can click here to know more of these love languages.

Anyway… most couples do not speak the same love language. Truth is, it’s quite a challenge for a couple who have different LL (love language) to be affectionate harmoniously. That is why it is important that you know the love language/s of your spouse… otherwise… you might be doing and communicating things in love but to your betterhalf you aren’t. This might also be the reason why somehow s/he whines that you do not love her/him. In case you don’t know your love LL, there’s an online test (you can google it). You can also encourage your spouse to take the said test and compare your results (note that one can have more than one love language, and it is possible also that you have them all…and one LL can be dominant over the other).

Now let me share my story concerning this matter. My husband and I had been into that struggle… I thought he is not loving and caring… and likewise he felt that I wasn’t too. Then, we found out that it’s not that we are not loved and treasured by our spouse…it’s just that we don’t decode the action as love because we do not express it in a way that we understands it as love… Like, for me… I feel loved when you hold my hand, you tell me you love me… you appreciate my efforts, how I look or how I accomplished things… My husband on the other hand… my touching him, telling him I love or miss him are not feeding his love bank…because to him, he feels love when I serve him, give him gifts or massage…or at times feed him when he’s already exhausted even to eat because he’s dead tired from work… 

So yeah… it pays to speak the LL of your spouse… Marriage is truly and purely a taste of heaven on earth  when you communicate love to your betterhalf in ways s/he knows.