Season

I could not remember if I have written a blog entry with this title… this blog is more or less 6 years old. I began blogging since 2004. I just feel that the title fits with what I am going to say…
There are things that surely come inevitably… and no matter what you do and how you want to prevent it, it will come anyway… just like the sun… it rises and sets in an appointed time…
Anyway, it will be a surprised for some people to hear me saying this but at this moment this is how I feel… I feel tired… I feel lonely, I feel sad, I feel frustrated… and I got depressed. They said people who are spiritually matured should not feel such… I wonder if that is all true… but I guess it should not be the gauge…because people, even in the old testament, can feel all kinds of emotions.
There were a few people who served God who got tired and frustrated… for example who? I dunno if you read the life of Elijah… in 1 Ki 19:4-5, where he prayed to God and asking him to grant him his desire to die… for what reason? He was afraid… and he got tired…Well, you know the story… and so God refreshed him, strengthened him… God did not smite him… not because Elijah’s time was not up and he got a lot of things to do… God can simply call anyone to finish the job… But God did not strike Elijah with lightning or whatsoever… God showed compassion because He is a compassionate God. He knows and understands human emotion and weaknesses and limitations…
We are not God to be able to withstand it all with no sweat on our brows… because of finiteness… we surely need God to be able to handle situations and let go of struggles, and then let God handle it… letting Him fight our battles… We can only trust Him that He will finish what He had started in us…that everything works together for good for those who love him and are called to do His purpose too…
So I am not ashamed to disclose that I am facing a season in my life where I feel so tired, depressed, grief-stricken, beaten, frustrated… but despite of what I am feeling… I know my God, who created all the universe and the life in it, will refresh me… strengthen me…because He loves me unconditionally.